Comments From Our Supporters:
"Will I see you at the Rocky Mountain Conference this year?," I asked a teacher from Missouri on the phone yesterday. Lucky for me teaching, parenting, and counseling with the Love and Logic philosophy fills my days. This time of the year is exceptionally fun for me as I start to anticipate the best conference ever – Jim Fay's Annual Rocky Mountain Love and Logic Conference. Many of us Delaware Love and Logic fans will be returning this year, and it's always exciting to talk with people there for the first time.
This will be my fifth trip to the best conference ever and I am certain to again feel the support of like-minded people, gain new knowledge, refresh my skills and enjoy the beauty of the Colorado Mountains. Wow, what a glorious treat after a grueling year! Hope to see you there – do it for YOU!
Beth Weir
New Castle, Delaware
"Betsy Geddes adds an energetic, no-nonsense 'twist' to applying Love and Logic in the classroom. She and Jim make an entertaining, informative team."
Steve Barcanic
Child and Family Therapist
Dear Charles,
I am a principal of a small elementary school in Ashland, OR. Last year I set aside money to send a group of 8 or 9 classified employees to a Love and Logic conference you gave last spring. The staff had been in turmoil and wanting more "punishments" and "rules."
Wow, you helped save our school and build a terrific foundation for us to recreate our philosophy and plan. The group came back empowered and in love with "Love and Logic." They quoted you to me and insisted that we bring it to all the staff and parents.
Even though I have been a proponent of Love and Logic since I moved to Oregon in 1992, I didn't really know how to use it as a foundation for our interactions with children. This year I am lucky enough to have come to the administrator training and hope someday to be able to attend one in the summer.
Anyway, thank you for making the difference with my staff and sharing your enthusiasm and knowledge. We now have on-going in-service and a strong lending library of Love and Logic materials. I know I cannot thank you enough for your terrific work helping all of us do a better job with children. You certainly lit the spark in my staff and turned the school into a more positive, productive, and growing learning community.
Barbara Fields
Principal of Helman School
Last July I had a fantastic experience of attending Jim Fay's Love and Logic Conference in Wichita, Kansas. It just so happened the conference was scheduled on the 36th wedding anniversary, so my husband went with me. He didn't have a lot to do, so he took the whole week making sure I got where I needed to be on time and I was properly fed.
I had never attended a conference of this size and was a little nervous. I was surrounded by about a thousand people who all seemed to know where they were going and what they were to do next. All I know was that I was not in Idaho anymore.
As I sat down waiting for the first presentation to begin, I felt an excitement in the air. People were chatting all around me. Eventually I became brave enough to look at the name tag of the person next to me. That was an icebreaker that helped begin a conversation. From then on I could hardly wait to meet the next person and find out about them. There were people from all over the United States, but we all had one thing in common; we were all there to learn a more loving and empathetic way to fulfill our responsibilities.
The whole week was filled with speakers discussing more positive ways to approach those with whom we work and associate. They were very well prepared, entertaining, approachable, and friendly.
As I use Love and Logic at home and in my classroom, I relive the fun and excitement I felt at Wichita. Attending this conference truly gave me a new perspective on teaching and my life as a whole.
Diane Wheeler
Idaho Falls
My son, a senior in high school, loved to come home for lunch with two of his friends. During lunchtime they were cussing, gossiping, and gripping about everything in their lives. After listening to the Hormones and Wheels tape, I planned a significant learning experience and shared it with my son during one of our brief, fleeting happy moments together.
I told him that I was willing for them to come home and eat my special burritos as long as I was happy. But each day that I heard cussing and gripping I would be unhappy and they were welcome to eat anywhere they choose except our house.
Well, the next day I heard my son (as they walked by the open kitchen window) say, "Guys, we have to keep my mom happy or we won't be able to come here for lunch." They replied, "What are you talking about?" He explained the situation and thanks to Love and Logic, I was able to enjoy their company at lunch until they graduated. The decision was up to them and relieved me of nagging and gripping.
This experience also increased the respect in our relationship and we were all happier. He is now the father of my two sweet grandchildren. I believe that the principles taught in Love and Logic made a great contribution toward the wonderful relationship I now have with my grown son. My only regret is that I didn't learn about Love and Logic when he was very young.
Doris E. Thompson
I just wanted to drop you folks a note and tell you how great your concepts are. We are the parents of twin five-year olds and have used the Love and Logic principles for two years now. We are now on our fourth copy of Parenting With Love and Logic and we have purchased three copies of Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood . Every time we start discussing children's behavior with our friends and neighbors, they end up "borrowing" our copy and we never see it again.
The amazing thing is how well the concepts work and how much better you feel as a parent after using them. Before discovering Dr. Foster Cline and Jim Fay in an airport one night, I was at my wits end trying to "control" my two-year-olds. Now we are a team and they are responsible for their actions. It's such a relief not to be the Drill Sergeant anymore. I am sure that you get hundreds of letters like this one all the time but please pass on thanks from my wife and myself. It has made a world of difference in our life and that of our children.
Mike Rapport
I am currently reading Jim and Charles' book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood in preparation for teaching my next Becoming a Love and Logic Parent class and I think it's fabulous! My children are 16 and 12 now, and how I wish that book had been around when they were little! I would have loved to try this with them!
DeAnn Dickinson
I am constantly on the prowl for more applications of the concepts of Love and Logic in my classroom. Here is something that I tried recently. Maybe the idea could be useful to other Love and Logic teachers.
As a 5th grade teacher, one of my frustrations is that kids frequently lose important papers needed to complete their work – instructions for book reports, projects, etc. It has been my policy not to replace lost papers, once each student has a copy. Occasionally, however, a situation arises where a paper needs to be replaced. But I want it to be in such a way that the student feels some responsibility. I had been listening to the new tape, Developing Character in Teens, by Jim Fay. On this tape, Jim discusses how chores can be used as restitution for our time, energy, and worry on the child's behalf. Could there be a classroom application of this principle? I decided to try an experiment.
The next time a student asked for a replacement set of book report instructions (at his parents request), I told him that I would be happy to go to the office soon and make another copy. However, that new copy would cost him 10 minutes of classroom chores to account for the time I would spend locating the paper in my files and going in to make a copy. He said, "I have to have the paper, or I'm grounded for the whole week!" So he readily agreed to the condition. I have used this approach several more times, and it has worked like a charm.
Now, when a student needs a paper replaced, he automatically comes up and asks, "How much time in chores will it cost me to get another copy of this paper?" I still suggest to students that they find a way to solve the missing paper problem, and we have previously gone through many possible solutions. But when they cannot recopy the paper, borrow one from a friend, or find another solution, this one works very well. I do not have to rant and rave about their lack of organization, and the floor and pencil sharpener in my classroom have never been cleaner!
Carol Gwynn
Developing Character in Teens
At a recent Love and Logic training workshop I made a visit to the materials sale table. I didn't see the desired product immediately so I asked, "May I please have 5 copies of…." The helpful staff person said Developing Character in Teens. "Why how do you know what I wanted?" "Well Beth, I've heard you talking about it for the past two days at the workshop!" It was true; I had been talking about this special tape since the first time I'd heard it. Now I've considered myself a connoisseur of Love and Logic materials for some years and I believe it may be my favorite one to date.
Jim Fay relates humorous and heartwarmingly poignant stories while at the same time skillfully weaving in the necessary strategies for building reason and responsibility in our youth. Jim's "keep it simple" approach lets me know that I can do this regardless of the situation that presents itself. In this day and age, it takes courage to parent our children. Sometimes we have to caste appearances aside for the sake of forming character in the child. We have to risk doing the right thing as opposed to "making things look right."
This tape is loaded with techniques to help you overcome previous parenting patterns. I found the dialogue with the most resistant teens extremely encouraging. Listening to this skillful master helps me shift from one technique or step to another more competently as my teen intensifies her efforts to avoid responsibility. I expect to enjoy this tape again and again during these challenging years.
Beth Weir
Oh Great! What Do I Do Now?
I want to thank you so much for the Charles Fay tape "Oh Great! What Do I Do Now?" It is sooooo good! I have listened to it over and over and I continue to learn and appreciate all you do to make our job easier. In this small community, I enjoy teaching the concepts of Becoming a Love and Logic Parent. I also substitute teach and I get to practice every day with children of all ages. I feel so blessed. You continue to be such a valued support in my efforts to help parents enjoy and have fun with their children. Thank you for always being there. Thank you to everyone there who continues to make this world a better place.
Marti Lindquist, St. George, Utah
Oh Great! What Do I Do Now?
Have you ever had one of those "WOW" experiences where a simple sentence, article, or experience all of the sudden hits you over the head and a concept gets completely pulled together for you? It happened to me this week driving from my home in Coal Creek Canyon (CO) headed to Boulder - I put in Charles Fay's tape Oh Great What Do I Do Now? in preparation for a presentation I was giving for a Church group later this week. All the way down the canyon I was Ohhhing and Ahhing my way through the tape. Halfway to Boulder I turned my car around and headed to Golden 14 miles in the opposite direction. I had to tell someone at the Love and Logic Institute how incredible this tape is.
Why is it so incredible? For me it took the most important Love and Logic concept - The Two Rules of Love and Logic - and pulled the program together. The flow of conversation was concisely organized and easy to follow. The stories and examples were perfect for the points Charles was trying to get across. For parents I feel it is easy to remember, simple to follow and practical. It was a "WOW" experience!
While I was there, I picked up the book Love and Logic Magic Early Childhood - Practical Parenting From Birth to 6 years. I was going to give it away at my parenting group meeting in a drawing. I started to read it and needless to say, I STILL have it! Another jewel in the Love and Logic Treasure Chest.
Thank you to everyone at the Love and Logic Institute who get me so energized and continually refreshed about going out and sharing the Love and Logic program.
Barb Engelmann
Love and Logic Facilitator
Childhood Lying, Stealing and Cheating
Parents are understandably concerned when their child starts to lie or steal. Is this merely a childhood phase or the beginning of something more serious? What should a parent do to discourage this behavior? What is the proper consequence?
Dr. Foster Cline takes a straightforward look at these questions on his audiotape Childhood Lying, Stealing & Cheating. Dr. Cline points out the differences between toddlers telling stories and older children departing from the path of honesty. He also points out when parents should seek help or consider strong intervention.
Dr. Cline's sense of humor helps to disarm the fears that show up when our youngsters lie to us. He offers many practical, down to earth, suggestions of how to talk to our kids about honesty and how to stay calm while we do it.
Barry Ebert
As little as six months ago, my thirteen year old son was on a path of trouble, not doing his school work, not wanting to do anything around the house, hanging around the mall, trying to push the limits by skipping school, in short, he behaved like a "typical teenager." As a recently divorced single parent with no experience in this area, I had no idea how to handle the situation and actually was going about it in a confrontational and totally wrong manner.
A friend of mine had attended a Love and Logic seminar in Denver and gave me your catalog. I started out with "Winning the Homework Battle" and found that it not only worked like a charm on my son's attitude, it also totally relieved me of the stress and anxiety of dealing with it. With this under my belt, I next tried the principles outlined in "Love Me Enough to Set Some Limits" and again had incredible success. I recently completed the "Hormones and Wheels" series with similar good results.
It's hard to believe that in a short six months my son's grades are improving to an acceptable level, he has started cleaning his room, and now even makes his own bed without me ever having asked him, does his own laundry, and regularly fixes his own meals. What a change for the better!
I must have listened to your tapes fifteen or twenty times and still listen to them every time I get in the car to run an errand or go on a trip. It helps me reinforce the Love and Logic principles and allows me to put them into practice a little bit more each time. For me and for my son, they have done wonders and when my parent friends complain about their teenagers' behavior, I hand them a catalog and mention the remarkable results your guidance has provided me for our family.
Pete Penninga
