Guiding Children to Solve Their Own Problems
by Jim FayLove and Logic Step One:
Empathy.
- "How sad."
- "I bet that hurts."
Love and Logic Step Two:
Send the "Power Message."
- "What do you think you're going to do?"
Love and Logic Step Three:
Offer choices.
- "Would you like to hear what other kids have tried?"
At this point, offer a variety of choices that range from bad to good. It's usually best to start out with the poor choices.
Each time a choice is offered, go on to step four, forcing the youngster to state the consequence in his/her own words. This means that you will be going back and forth between Love and Logic steps three and four.
Love and Logic Step Four:
Have the child state the consequences.
- "And how will that work?"
Love and Logic Step Five:
Give permission for the child to either solve the problem or not solve the problem.
- "Good luck. I hope it works out."
Have no fear. If the child is fortunate enough to make a poor choice, he/she may have a double learning lesson.
©1979 Jim Fay
Permission granted for photocopy reproduction.
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For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at (800) 338-4065.
