Tantrum-Free Shopping with Your Kids
By Dr. Charles Fay
With some simple tools, you'll never have to fear your kids throwing a fit in public again.
Has your child ever had a "melt down" in the grocery store, and you've found yourself thinking, "There's got to be a better way?"
Don't worry if you've answered "yes" to this question, it's normal. The good news is Love and Logic parenting is that better way, bringing happiness and fun back into parenting, while allowing you to raise happy, responsible kids.
The weekly trip to the grocery store does not have to be grueling. With Love and Logic you can be giggling instead. Is this truly possible? Absolutely! Here are two "happiness solutions" you can try the next time you make a trip to the store with your kids.
Happiness Solution #1: Replace warnings and lectures with loving actions.
For making the grocery store fun instead of frantic, actions speak louder than words. That's right! The happiest parents who raise the most responsible kids say very little when their kids act–up. Instead, they allow logical consequences… or loving actions… to do the teaching.
Little Randy is toddling along with his mommy in the grocery store. Soon he has stopped and is now playing with items on the shelves. Randy's wise mommy doesn't waste precious energy by warning, "Don't touch those things. Hurry up. Keep up with me. You're going to get in trouble. Stop it." Instead, she glances at him out of the corner of her eye, keeps walking, and finds a place just out of sight where she can watch him. He can't see her, but she can see him. Giggling, she watches him as he suddenly realizes he might be "lost." He looks around, doesn't see her, panics a bit, and begins to run down the aisle. As he turns the corner and sees her, she smiles and says, "Oh, good to see you," and continues walking. As she moves along, Randy starts to learn, "I'd better keep up with Mommy."
Happiness Solution #2: When tantrums erupt, don't be afraid to be silly.
Some parents follow a sure–fire strategy for making themselves miserable and ensuring that tantrums become a grocery store tradition for their kids. How? They get angry, frustrated, and say things like, "Stop acting that way! When we get home, you are really going to get it. I mean it." Love and Logic parents aren't afraid to have some fun instead.
Samantha wants candy and she wants it now. In front of scores of shoppers, she hits the floor and begins to scream, "I want it! I want it! I want it." How does dad respond? He smiles and says, "Nice tantrum, but I think you are losing your touch. Let me show you how it's done." Her eyes get huge as dad begins to jump up and down and yell, "I want it! I want it!" How does Samantha respond? She stops yelling, stands up, and begs, "Daddy. Stop it."
Parenting can be fun and easy, using these simple techniques. Why not give Love and Logic a try?
Dr. Charles Fay is a parent, author, and consultant to schools, parent groups, mental health professionals around the world and President of the Love and Logic Institute in Golden, CO. His book Love and Logic Magic When Kids Leave You Speechless provides a host of helpful tips for teaching values, as well as handling other perplexing parenting issues. For more information about Love and Logic parenting and teaching techniques, call 800-338-4065.
©2000 Dr. Charles Fay
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For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.