Give Your Children the Values They Deserve
By Dr. Charles Fay
Parents can combat societal pressures with the right approach.
Peers, TV shows, movies, magazines…With so many external pressures facing kids at younger and younger ages, parents often wonder:
How can I get my children to listen to me…instead of the 'cool' kids at school?
How do I teach my child the importance of hard work, honesty, and humility?
How can I reach them when they get so many messages that seem to say, "Who you are is not as important as how good you look, and how many toys you have?"
There is hope. Using the following tips, parents can have a much stronger influence than any friend or TV commercial:
Tip #1: Instead of telling your kids how to live, show them.
Wise parents commit lots of honest, respectful, kind, and responsible acts in front of their kids. Simply stated, actions speak louder than words.
The next time another driver cuts you off or someone in your neighborhood needs help, treat the situation as an important opportunity to show your children how responsible, caring adults act.
Tip #2: Talk about your values when they're eavesdropping.
What we say in front of our kids is more important than what we say to them. When you do something great, talk about it within earshot of your kids. For example, when your child is sitting nearby, you might say to your spouse, "Honey, the clerk at the store gave me ten dollars too much in change. I could have kept it, but I gave it back. I always feel better when I do the right thing!"
Tip #3: Teach character and responsibility with empathy and consequences.
At the Love and Logic® Institute, we've found the most effective parents allow children to make mistakes in safe situations. Kids develop character and positive values when they learn that poor decisions result in uncomfortable consequences.
Parents who deliver consequences with anger raise kids who spend their lives feeling angry and who reject their parents' values. If those same parents replace anger with empathy, their children begin to see them as caring and recognize their values are important.
For more than three decades, Love and Logic has helped parents with these life-changing tips
One very grateful parent wrote, "As a teenager, our daughter got caught shoplifting. We were mortified! When this happened, we turned to Love and Logic. With lots of empathy instead of anger, we held her responsible for hiring her own lawyer and paying the court costs. That was fifteen years ago, and she's grown to be a wonderful, responsible young woman. On her thirtieth birthday, she even thanked us for being so strict!"
Give Love and Logic a try and join thousands of parents who have discovered easy and effective ways to improve their relationships with their kids and teach positive family values.
Dr. Charles Fay is a parent, author, and consultant to schools, parent groups, mental health professionals around the world and President of the Love and Logic Institute in Golden, CO. His book, Love and Logic Magic: When Your Kids Leave You Speechless, provides a host of helpful tips for teaching values, as well as handling other perplexing parenting issues. For more information about Love and Logic parenting and teaching techniques, call 800-338-4065.
©2002 Dr. Charles Fay
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For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.