By Jim Fay
The previous position we outlined on spanking in the book, Parenting With Love and Logic, unfortunately, was our thinking as of 1990 when the book was written. Since then our knowledge has grown. The world we live in changed, and we have developed new techniques that are far more effective than spanking.
For the record, our present stance on spanking is:
1. There is no need for spanking.
2. Spanking is counterproductive. It makes the adult into the "bad guy" instead of the bad decision becoming the culprit.
3. Love and Logic techniques are far more powerful than spanking.
4. Most kids would much rather have a spanking than have their parents use Love and Logic techniques such as delaying the consequence while the parent thinks over the problem, develops a clear head and then locks in the empathy before telling the child what the consequence will be.
5. Since we now have such better techniques, why even consider, or waste our time with, spanking?
6. A considerable amount of solid research is now available indicating the harmful, counterproductive results of using spanking as a disciplinary tool. These six points, plus others, would make up the content of the chapter on spanking if we could write the book again, or when Pinon Press decides to update the book.
Please feel free to reproduce this letter and provide it for others who happen to be interested in the Love and Logic position on spanking.
People who are really successful implementing this skill purchased Four Steps To Responsibility
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©1998 Jim Fay
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For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.
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