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Guidelines for Sharing Control Through Choices

By Jim Fay
  • Never give a choice on an issue that might cause a problem for you or for anyone else.
  • For each choice, give only two options, each of which will be OK with you.
  • If the child doesn't decide in ten seconds, decide for him or her.
  • Only give choices that fit with your value system.

Some Love and Logic Examples of Little Choices

  1. Would you like to wear your coat or carry it?
  2. Are you going to clean the garage or mow the lawn this week?
  3. Will you have these chores done tomorrow? Or do you need an extra day to get them finished?
  4. Are you having peas or carrots as your vegetable tonight?
  5. Are you going to bed now? Or would you like to wait 15 minutes?
  6. Can you stay with us and stop that, or do you need to leave for a while and come back when you are sweet?
  7. Are you going to put your pajamas on first or brush your teeth first?
  8. Will you be home at 10:00? Or do you need an extra half hour with your friends?
  9. Are you guys going to stop bickering? Or would you rather pay me for having to hear it?
People who are really successful implementing this skill purchased Avoiding Power Struggles With Kids


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©Jim Fay
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For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.