I remember getting kind of sad when I heard Jim Fay say, “Love and Logic is not for everyone. Some people will just be too mean with it. If they have a basically angry and punitive personality, they will struggle with our techniques. Unless they experience a major change.”
When I think of how the Love and Logic philosophy has changed (possibly saved) my life, I want very much for it to be in every home and every school – with no exclusions.
But, of course, Jim is right. The right tool in the wrong hands is the wrong tool. I hold out hope for people who need to shift from anger and wrath to humor and grace before they are ready for Love and Logic.
I have noticed that another group of people who struggle with our techniques are those who have little or no sense of humor and/or take themselves too seriously. Adults who seem to do the best with Love and Logic are those who can keep perspective, see mistakes as opportunities and LAUGH (especially at themselves). After all, some of the moments while raising kids are just hilarious.
And let’s be perfectly honest – some people don’t need loveandlogic.com, they need lightenupandgetoveryourself.com (not a real website). Now, if you’re smiling and nodding your head, you are probably just right for the Love and Logic skills. You have the right temperament.
If you are getting furious and yelling “How DARE you!!” right now, Love and Logic is probably not for you. We encourage you to check out our competitors – get heavily involved with them and let lots of people know you support them, not us.😊
In all seriousness, we know for certain that kids need to develop resilience and that a component of resilience is the ability to avoid taking offense at every little slight - and laugh instead.
And we know that kids take their emotional cues from us. The last thing we need is for young people to follow models of uptight, thin-skinned adults. We need to show them that life can be joyful.
Raising great kids is difficult and stressful enough. Laugh often. Let them see you making mistakes and recovering from those mistakes with grace and humor. We only get one shot at this. Might as well enjoy it.