When it comes to sibling conflict, it’s common for all of us to focus on the wrong problem: Their relationship with each other rather than our relationship with them.
Healthy parent-child relationships are characterized by two things: First, the child feels unconditionally loved. Second, the child sees the parents as the undisputed authority figures in the home.
People who care enough to study Love and Logic materials… such as this tip… rarely have an issue with the “love” part of this equation. It comes naturally! The part they struggle with… and so do I… is the authority part.
Perhaps it’s helpful to remember that when we provide strong leadership… not just friendship... we see:
Kids almost always fight with each other more when
they lack consistent and loving limits.
Too frequently, all of us slip into the habit of addressing symptoms rather than core causes. When we do so, we find ourselves endlessly spinning our wheels, dealing with recurring symptoms, as well as ones that continuously erupt in new and unpredictable ways.
Real and lasting solutions to recurring family issues involve taking strategic steps toward reestablishing loving authority in the home. The first step involves asking the following questions:
For more, check out Sibling Rivalry.