Our Blog

Is Being Thankful a Big Deal in Your Family?

Is Being Thankful a Big Deal in Your Family?

Over the years, we have heard from families who struggle with entitled kids. One of us (Jim) grew up in a family where enough food was hard to come by. My father, a very good and honest man, left school during 4th fourth grade. His family was falling apart after his dad had a serious accident and could no longer work.

I don’t remember how he made it to adulthood, but he was a hard worker who provided the best he could on a fry cook’s salary. As kids, my brothers and I wished for the things that many other kids had, and one of those things was a bicycle.

Knowing this, a kind neighbor gave me a bike that was mostly worn out, but to me it was the most beautiful thing I ever had. As soon as I could get the tires to hold air, I was ready to give it a test run, but no! My mother called me into the house and asked, “Do you think you deserve that bike?” “Well, yeah,” I answered. “I don’t think so,” she said. “Sit on that chair until you figure out why you don’t!”

All that I could think of was all the things I’d done that she didn’t know about, and each time I told gave her a reason, she said that I hadn’t figured it out yet. That was one of the longest days of my life.

It finally came to me. I had not thanked my neighbor for the bike. Being thankful was a very big deal in our family. Although my mom and dad couldn’t provide stuff, they did make a big deal about showing thankfulness to others and keeping us off the path to entitlement.

Even if a child has become entitled and expects things to be handed to them without showing appropriate gratitude, there is still hope. Love and Logic can help you slay the beast of entitlement by equipping you with a powerful process for reversing the symptoms of lack of appreciation, apathy, disrespect, defiance, and low self-esteem. Here are four ways you can help guide kids out of entitlement thinking.

Risk
Kids held captive by the beast of entitlement must be encouraged to take positive risks that provide opportunities to develop different beliefs. Perhaps the only way to see the benefits of personal responsibility is by doing something positive and experiencing the intrinsic joy it provides.

Struggle
Entitled children also need to experience difficulties, which will help them learn that they are able to overcome life’s challenges through perseverance.

Achievement
The beast of entitlement dominates and subdues its victims by leading them to believe that they are dependent upon others for success. Breaking the chains of this misconception requires that they see themselves achieving hard-earned victories.

Attribution
Entitlement also tricks people into believing that life is simply a giant slot machine, roulette wheel, or lottery game. When children learn to attribute their level of success to their level of perseverance and personal responsibility, the beast loses its grip on their hearts.

Love and Logic offers practical tools for teaching kids personal responsibility for the actions and for how they face life’s challenges. To learn more about how Love and Logic can help create a family environment that keeps kids off the path to entitlement, listen to our the audio set, 7 Ways to Create a Respectful, Responsible, and Resilient Family.

 

Thanks for reading!

Jim and Charles Fay

 

7 Ways to Create a Respectful, Responsible, and Resilient Family