Four Tips for Soothing Sibling Rivalry

Four Tips for Soothing Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is a perplexing and challenging issue for many parents. They find that attempting to make their kids love each other, or at least treat each other civilly, seems to be impossible. After many failed attempts, they finally realize that it’s completely out of their control.

Realizing that sibling rivalry is beyond parents’ control is an important first step. This allows them to focus on what they can control. Listed below are just a few of the many things that parents can control:

  • Whether we do extra things for kids who are battling with each other.
    It’s perfectly reasonable for a parent to say, “This is such a bummer. I’m tired-out from listening to you arguing with each other. I don’t have the energy to drive you to your friends’ houses.”

  • Whether we allow certain items to remain in our homes.
    A friend of ours said to her kids, “This is so sad. Every time you guys play that game you get in a fight. I gave it away so it wouldn’t be a problem anymore.”

  • Whether we allow their fighting to interrupt our responsibilities and time.
    Have you ever noticed how kids tend to argue and bicker with each other when you are trying to do something that requires your complete attention such as trying to talk on the phone? If you feel secure that your kids won’t harm each other, it’s probably best to say, “This is really draining my energy. You guys need to work this out or go your separate ways.”

  •  Whether we give them “bonding opportunities.”
    When your kids start to battle with each other, experiment with saying, “Sounds like you guys need some bonding time.” Then assign them some chores to give them an opportunity to feel the love.

Listen to my audio, Sibling Rivalry, for more tips that will increase the chances your home will remain a peaceful place.


Thanks for reading!

Dr. Charles Fay

angry siblings staring at each other

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