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It’s Not Working!

It’s Not Working!

Have you ever been in a spot with your kids when you felt like Love and Logic just wasn’t working? I have! In fact, there were times when my wife and I joked that Love and Logic only works on other peoples’ kids. Listed below are six questions to ask ourselves when this begins to happen:

Am I using too many words as I implement the technique?
The more words we use when a child is upset or acting out, the less effective we become.

Am I displaying anger or frustration?
Anger and frustration feed misbehavior.

Am I giving too many warnings before consequences or lecturing too much afterward?
The more we warn kids about consequences, the less they seem to care about them when they finally come. Also, after the children experience consequences, resist the urge to rub salt in the wound by lecturing them about what they should have learned.

Has our relationship gone downhill?
If consequences don’t seem to be working, it might be due to a lack of positive connection between you and the child. Experiment with using the One-Sentence Intervention found in our book, Teaching with Love and Logic. (This is a great resource for parents, too!)

Does this child, or do we as parents, need professional help?
If there are deeper problems driving the misbehavior, it’s likely that few things will really work until these issues are dealt with.

Is this a temporary phase?
Yep! Sometimes kids act out because they are kids, and their little neurons are still developing. Hang in there and see if a little time does the trick.

 

Thanks for reading!

Dr. Charles Fay