Guiding Children to Solve Their Own Problems

by Jim Fay


Love and Logic Step One: Empathy.

  • "How sad."
  • "I bet that hurts."

Love and Logic Step Two: Send the "Power Message."

  • "What do you think you're going to do?"

Love and Logic Step Three: Offer choices.

  • "Would you like to hear what other kids have tried?"
  • At this point, offer a variety of choices that range from bad to good. It's usually best to start out with the poor choices.
  • Each time a choice is offered, go on to step four, forcing the youngster to state the consequence in his/her own words. This means that you will be going back and forth between Love and Logic steps three and four.

Love and Logic Step Four: Have the child state the consequences.

  • "And how will that work?"

Love and Logic Step Five: Give permission for the child to either solve the problem or not solve the problem.

  • "Good luck. I hope it works out."
  • Have no fear. If the child is fortunate enough to make a poor choice, he/she may have a double learning lesson.

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©Jim Fay
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