Turn Your Words into Gold

By Jim Fay

Ineffective Technique

Love and Logic Technique

Please sit down. We're going to eat now.

We will eat as soon as you are seated.

Please be quiet. I can't listen to your brother when you are both talking at the same time.

I'll be glad to listen to you as soon as your brother has finished talking to me.

Clean your room so we can go shopping.

I'll be happy to take you shopping as soon as your room is clean.

I'm not going to play ball with you until all of you are quiet.

I'll be happy to play ball with you as soon as it is quiet.

Don't talk while I'm reading to you.

I will start reading to you again as soon as you have finished talking.

You can't go play until you have finished your homework.

Feel free to go play as soon as you have finished your homework.

Don't shout at me.

I listen to people who do not yell at me.

Pay attention.

I'll start again as soon as I know you are with me.

Don't be bothering your sister.

You are welcome to stay with us as long as you are not bothering your sister.

Keep your hands to yourself.

Feel free to stay with us when you can keep your hands to yourself.

Do your chores on time or you'll be grounded.

I'll be happy to let you go with your friends as soon as your chores are finished.

Don't talk to me in that tone of voice!

I'll listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine.

You show some respect.

I'll be glad to discuss this when respect is shown.

Don't be late coming home from school.

I drive those to practice who arrive home on time.

I'm not picking up your dirty clothes.

I'll be glad to wash the clothes that are put in the laundry room.

Keep your room neat.

All owners of neat rooms are welcome to join us for ice cream.

I'm not loaning you any more money.

I lend money to those who have collateral.

If you can't remember your pencil, you're just going to have to do without.

Feel free to borrow from anyone but me.

You're not going out without your coat.

You may go out as soon as you have your coat.

You're not going to stay in this group and act like that.

You may stay with us if you can give up on that behavior.

Don't you come back to this room until you can show some respect!

Feel free to come back to the room as soon as you are calm.

Quit breaking the rules of the game.

Those who can follow the rules are welcome to play the game.

Get this room cleaned up right now, and I mean it!

You are welcome to join us for __________as soon as your room is clean.

Stop arguing with me.

I'll be glad to discuss this with you as soon as the arguing stops.

If you can't treat the paintbrushes right, you'll just have to sit out this project.

All of those who can handle the paintbrushes right are welcome to join us in the project.

If you forget your permission slip, you're going to miss the trip.

All of those who remember permission slips are welcome to go on the field trip.


People who are really successful implementing this skill purchased Keeping Cool When Parenting Heats Up

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©Jim Fay
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