©Jim Fay
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The Art of Enforceable Statements for the Home
| Ineffective Technique | Love and Logic Technique |
|---|---|
| Please sit down. We're going to eat now. | We will eat as soon as you are seated. |
| Please be quiet. I can't listen to your brother when you are both talking at the same time. | I'll be glad to listen to you as soon as your brother has finished talking to me. |
| Clean your room so we can go shopping. | I'll be happy to take you shopping as soon as your room is clean. |
| I'm not going to play ball with you until all of you are quiet. | I'll be happy to play ball with you as soon as it is quiet. |
| Don't talk while I'm reading to you. | I will start reading to you again as soon as you have finished talking. |
| You can't go play until you have finished your homework. | Feel free to go play as soon as you have finished your homework. |
| Don't shout at me. | I listen to people who do not yell at me. |
| Pay attention. | I'll start again as soon as I know you are with me. |
| Don't be bothering your sister. | You are welcome to stay with us as long as you are not bothering your sister. |
| Keep your hands to yourself. | Feel free to stay with us when you can keep your hands to yourself. |
| Do your chores on time or you'll be grounded. | I'll be happy to let you go with your friends as soon as your chores are finished. |
| Don't talk to me in that tone of voice! | I'll listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine. |
| You show some respect. | I'll be glad to discuss this when respect is shown. |
| Don't be late coming home from school. | I drive those to practice who arrive home on time. |
| I'm not picking up your dirty clothes. | I'll be glad to wash the clothes that are put in the laundry room. |
| Keep your room neat. | All owners of neat rooms are welcome to join us for ice cream. |
| I'm not loaning you any more money. | I lend money to those who have collateral. |
| If you can't remember your pencil, you're just going to have to do without. | Feel free to borrow from anyone but me. |
| You're not going out without your coat. | You may go out as soon as you have your coat. |
| You're not going to stay in this group and act like that. | You may stay with us if you can give up on that behavior. |
| Don't you come back to this room until you can show some respect! | Feel free to come back to the room as soon as you are calm. |
| Quit breaking the rules of the game. | Those who can follow the rules are welcome to play the game. |
| Get this room cleaned up right now, and I mean it! | You are welcome to join us for __________as soon as your room is clean. |
| Stop arguing with me. | I'll be glad to discuss this with you as soon as the arguing stops. |
| If you can't treat the paintbrushes right, you'll just have to sit out this project. | All of those who can handle the paintbrushes right are welcome to join us in the project. |
| If you forget your permission slip, you're going to miss the trip. | All of those who remember permission slips are welcome to go on the field trip. |
