I love the smell of burnt toast! That familiar aroma, coupled with the odor of overcooked coffee, always leaves a warm feeling in my heart and takes me back to my loving grandparents’ home. My grandmother always managed to burn the toast—and the coffee! This memory has taught me that positive emotions can turn ordinary seemingly inconsequential experiences into positive memories.
The Power of Positive Feelings
The power of positive feelings in parenting is immense! When our kids experience love, laughter, and connection coupled with chores, they will learn to associate doing chores responsibly with pride and a sense of belonging. When warmth and affection are associated with learning, they will learn to love school and academics.
If they feel our joy as we parent them, then they will be far more likely to live a life filled with excitement and motivation instead of apprehension and apathy.
We’re Not Perfect: Why Parental Self-Care Matters
At times we all get shortsighted. Sometimes we forget these important principles. Occasionally parents will allow themselves to get cross, short, or impatient, thinking that somehow negativity will inspire their kids to learn cheerfully or complete their daily chores with a positive attitude. We forget all this when we don’t take good care of ourselves.
Even though kids won’t remember all the details of what we try to teach them, they will always remember how they felt when they were around us.
We believe that one of the characteristics of effective parents and educators is that they engage in healthy self-care. Not only does practicing parenting self-care benefit us, it also provides a model of healthy behavior for our kids.
Handling Frustration the Love and Logic Way
One way we can care for ourselves is to remember that despite our good intentions, we can still find ourselves on the edge of showing frustration or even anger. Love and Logic has given thousands of parents a tool for transforming these moments into positive experiences. When you find yourself frustrated or even too angry to use empathy and keep a positive demeanor, you can give yourself permission to delay your reaction or delay the consequences.
You can try this the next time you feel like you are about to lose control. For example, instead of letting your anger or frustration show, you can calmly say something like this:
“I’m so upset right now that I can’t think too well. I make better decisions when I am calm. I love you. We’ll talk later.”
Remember, taking care of yourself allows you to give your kids the gift of loving learning, loving responsibility, and loving themselves. For more parenting tips for remaining calm when your kids are challenging, listen to our audio, Love and Logic Magic When Kids Drain Your Energy.
