Now that Thanksgiving has passed, Black Friday and Cyber Monday are here, signaling that the holiday season is in full swing. Things will become increasingly frenetic for us, with shopping, family events, and all the activities that bombard us during this time of year.
The First Rule of Love and Logic
It seems a good time to remind us of the First Rule of Love and Logic:
Adults take good care of themselves by setting limits without anger, lectures, threats, or repeated warnings.
The intent and spirit of this rule is that adults should take good care of themselves in all parts of their lives. Whether it’s in our relationships with our kids, or even other adults in our lives, the principles of Love and Logic can help us remain calm and centered, even during the busiest of times.
The Power of Peace and Quiet
Some of the best moments during the holiday season are when we are quiet and still, simply enjoying being with close family members. Neurological studies have shown that peace and quiet, and even silence, can help restore our nervous systems and enhance our ability to respond to the world around us, as well as help us relax and recharge our energy. In addition, these studies suggest that quiet might even stimulate development of new nerves cells.
Setting Limits with Ourselves
One way to ensure that we have enough quiet time is by setting and maintaining appropriate limits. In fact, the greatest holiday gift we can give is the gift of limits—mostly limits on ourselves and the other adults in our lives. The limits we set with ourselves mostly involve curbing the natural inclination to do the impossible—make the holidays a perfect experience for everyone. We all know what happens when we attempt to make everyone happy.
Setting Limits with Other Adults
The limits we set with the other adults in our lives involve taking good care of ourselves and our kids. Caution! Some of these might cause severe shock:
- We can’t wait to see you guys. We’ll need to leave by six so we can spend some quiet time with the kids before bedtime.
- We love you and want to spend time with you. We are trying to help the kids be more relaxed and rested, so we’ll need to do this on another day.
- We want to spend relaxed time with everyone, so we’ll be ordering pizza.
Staying Connected Through the Holidays
Making connections with our families is the true meaning of the holiday season and our family relationships are an invaluable part of all our lives. Whatever holiday activities come your way, make sure that you connect with the people that you love. Try to balance your activities with adequate rest and quiet time for you and your kids.
The Love and Logic Team hopes that you enjoyed your family at Thanksgiving, and that the rest of your holiday season is as enjoyable and meaningful as possible for you.
Thanks for reading!
