The holiday season is in full swing with the usual sources of stress, especially financial strains and high expectations among family members. For parents, one stress that always rises to the top of the list is finding just the right gifts for their children.
The Pressure to Find the “Perfect” Gift
Some parents spend endless hours—sometimes days—scouring stores and websites for that perfect item. Let’s be clear. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to delight our children with thoughtful, fun presents. The problem arises when our search for “the perfect gift” begins to overshadow something far more meaningful. When that happens, we risk forgetting the most important gifts our children truly need—our presence, our love, and our example.
What Children Truly Need Most
Many of us, ourselves included, have fallen into this trap. We work so hard to make the holidays magical that we exhaust ourselves, only to realize we’ve spent more energy shopping than connecting. Yet every child, at every age, longs for the same thing—a relationship with someone who loves them unconditionally, even when they’re not at their best. That kind of love is powerful and says, “You matter. You belong. You are a gift.” No toy or gadget can compete with that message.
Teaching the Joy of Giving
At the same time, the holiday season offers another profound opportunity: teaching children that joy grows when we give, not just when we receive. One mother shared a story that beautifully illustrates this lesson.
While visiting a bank, she overheard a manager describing a donation project for children in the community who would otherwise receive nothing during the holidays. When she shared the story with her own kids at dinner, something remarkable happened. Her children—who had outgrown their bikes and were hoping for new ones—immediately suggested donating their old bikes.
The following weekend, they scrubbed and polished those bikes until they sparkled. When they delivered them, the joy on their faces said everything. In giving, they experienced something deeper than excitement—they felt purpose, empathy, and pride. In that moment, they gave their mother a gift as well in the reassurance that she was raising kids who care.
Gifts That Last Beyond the Holidays
This is the heart of the holiday season. Love freely given. Time generously shared. Character intentionally taught. So, this year, we encourage you to pause and reflect. Spend more time playing with your kids than shopping for them. Remember that the gift they most desire is you. Also invite them into the joy of giving by helping them see that generosity isn’t just something we do, it’s who we become.
When we offer our children unconditional love and opportunities to give, we give them something that lasts far beyond the holidays. We give them roots, wings, and a heart prepared for life.
May your holiday season be meaningful, joyful, and filled with the greatest gifts of all.
Happy Holidays,
Jim and Dr. Charles Fay
