Next week is the last event in our current series of virtual events, and Dr. Daniel Amen and I will be presenting Mental Hygiene is Critical for Parents & Kids. Many parents are stressed these days and for good reasons, and we hope that this event will provide valuable insights that will help parents.
The First Rule of Love and Logic is that parents should take good care of themselves by avoiding the stress of anger and frustration, as well as avoiding the use of threats and lectures with their kids. It’s hard to do these days and I hope that the following tips can help.
One major source of stress for parents is not knowing how to parent effectively. Kids don’t come with instruction manuals and parents don’t get training on how to parent. As a result, parenting can seem to be very hard for many parents, sometimes even impossible. Despite the many challenges facing your family, you can take the stress out of parenting and learn how to raise competent people using simple, practical, time-tested parenting skills. Listed below are the top three skills I’ve observed from my experience with thousands of truly great parents and educators:
They demonstrate unconditional warmth and love.
Kids feel this magical type of love when their parents spend plenty of time with them, when their parents focus on their strengths, and when their parents display empathy instead of anger or sarcasm when things go wrong.
Their “yes” is always “yes” and their “no” is always “no.”
Great parents are extremely careful to set only the limits they know they can enforce. They remember this important rule for setting limits:
Never tell a stubborn child what to do—instead, describe what you will do or allow.
They allow their kids to experience the logical and natural consequences of their decisions.
Isn’t it hard to watch our kids struggle with the consequences of their mistakes? While it breaks our hearts at times, allowing them to learn in this way gives them a tremendous advantage as they grow. They develop respect, responsibility, and a good grasp of good old-fashioned common sense.
One other important characteristic of great parents is that they always display empathy rather than anger. Raising great kids really can be a joy when we remember that we don’t have to overcomplicate things with too many skills and too much theory. Keep it simple and enjoy your kids.
Thanks for reading!