When I mess up my Love and Logic skills, one of the first explanations is that I am taking myself too seriously. I have a scowl on my face instead of a smile and I have lost sight of the fact that kids will test limits – it’s their job. The task of raising great kids is a serious one with high stakes. That doesn’t mean I have to climb onto my self-important high horse, lose my perspective and become an inflexible tyrant.
Love and Logic teaches that kids need adults to be loving AND strong at the same time.
But ‘strong’ is not the same as stern or mean. I can be strong with a smile on my face if I keep things in perspective.
Raising kids, while challenging, can also be a lot of fun. If I can just remember to get over myself.
We sometimes joke that people who can’t laugh at their own mistakes and admit to being human are going to struggle with Love and Logic.
Dr. Fay once said that if you’ve had the humor bypass surgery, you might want to get it reversed before trying Love and Logic. Love and Logic parents and teachers know that the ability to laugh at ourselves makes us approachable and human.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I know I blow it when I’m taking myself too seriously and trying (read ‘failing’) to control others instead of controlling my own focus and my own behavior.
Admit you’re human. Admit you don’t always know what you’re doing. Stay humble.
It helps, I promise.