Kids of all ages face many situations that can create and feed anxiety. Like nearly all the challenges faced by parents, childhood anxiety can have many causes and possible solutions. Fortunately, Love and Logic offers a variety of “experiments” to determine what might work best with each unique child. Here are some tips that can help alleviate anxiety with your kids.
Establish or Strengthen Family Routines
One of the most effective ways to reduce anxiety in children is by establishing, or strengthening, daily family routines. With anxious, fearful kids, experiment with setting consistent times for activities and event like meals, bath times, reading, chores, or bedtime.
Provide Firmer Limits
There are few things more reassuring to a child than knowing that they have parents who are strong enough to keep them safe, physically and emotionally. One of the ways they find out is to test limits to see if their parents appear confident and in control. Providing firm, loving, and enforceable limits can help your kids feel that they are safe.
Give Less Attention to Anxious Behavior
When children are anxious or upset, parents often feel compelled to explain, reassure, or fix the situation. Experiment with using fewer words when your child is upset. Simply hug them and say, “I know you can handle this.”
Model Calmness and Optimism
Modeling desired behavior is one of the most powerful ways to influence behavior in our kids. They will rarely be calmer or more confident than we are.
Avoid Reinforcing Avoidance Behavior
Too frequently we traumatize children more by repeatedly allowing them to avoid healthy activities that can build their sense of security and self-esteem. Support gradual exposure to situations that help them grow and feel capable.
Allow Your Child to Be a Child
Every year, children are being pushed harder to become stars in academics, athletics, music, etc. Excessive pressure to excel isn’t good for kids. Make sure your child has time to play, relax, and simply be a child.
Separation Anxiety in Younger Kids
In addition to typical sources of anxiety, younger kids might also experience separation anxiety about going to daycare, preschool, or the babysitter. Some separation anxiety is normal and healthy. Listed below are some quick tips for dealing with separation anxiety:
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Remember that kids take their emotional cues from the adults around them.
The calmer and more business-like we act, the easier it’ll be for our kids. -
Avoid doing too much reassuring.
Strangely, too much reassurance can increase anxiety. It’s as if they think, “If my parents have to tell me this is going to be okay, maybe it won’t.” -
Make the transition short and sweet.
The quicker you move, the faster your child will calm down once you leave. -
Don’t look back.
Although it’s hard to resist the urge to go back and comfort your child, he or she will calm down far quicker if you keep going and don’t look back.
Generally, the tots who feel the most secure when they are with their parents are the ones who feel the most secure when they are away from their parents. A large part of providing this security involves combining big doses of love with good, solid limits.
Consider Professional Help
Anxiety can have many different causes. If you have been using Love and Logic consistently, and anxiety is still a major issue or it is getting progressively worse, it is wise to seek professional help from a counselor.
In my webinar, Love and Logic Solutions for Early Childhood, I provide a variety of strategies that send children the message that they are loved and secure. When kids feel this way, they are better able to face life without fear.
Thanks for reading!
