Love and Logic was founded in 1977 by Jim Fay and Foster Cline. Over time, the principles and techniques of Love and Logic have revolutionized parenting and teaching strategies by showing adults how to have respectful, healthy relationships with the children in their lives.
Often customers ask us about the origin of the name, Love and Logic. When Jim and Foster trying to come up with a name for the program and company, they came up with Love and Logic because they believed that it takes a lot of love to hold kids accountable and that the only way kids will learn is by logically making the connection between their behaviors and the consequences of their behavior.
The “Love” in Love and Logic: Why Empathy Comes First
The “Love” in Love and Logic refers to the kind of love characterized by empathy, understanding, and a mutually respectful relationship between the adult and the child. Love and Logic’s techniques invariably begin with a healthy dose of genuine empathy. This is critical because it takes a great deal of love to:
- Hug them before we ask them about their responsibilities
- Provide empathy first before consequences when holding them accountable for their poor decisions
- Find the positives in our kids when they act poorly
- Set limits without anger, lectures, or threats
The importance of providing empathy is based on an understanding of how our brains work. Using anger, lectures, or threats simply results in setting off the limbic system, which triggers the fight, flight, or freeze response. Empathy opens the door to the prefrontal cortex, allowing the child to feel safe and able to think clearly about the consequences of their actions.
The “Logic” in Love and Logic: How Logical Consequences Teach Responsibility
The “Logic” in Love and Logic refers to the use of logical consequences in combination with empathy. Logical consequences do the teaching only if the child can feel safe and loved. When we give this special kind of love, a wise type of logic then can grow in their minds:
When I make poor decisions, it makes my life pretty sad.
I wonder how my next decision will affect my life.
Our book, Raising Mentally Strong Kids, explores the power of Love and Logic in helping kids grow into responsible, resilient adults. It provides an understanding of this process based on principles of neuroscience and psychology and gives practical tools and techniques that can guide parents to help their kids.
Thanks for reading!
