At this time of year, many parents ask, “How do we handle bad grades?” When report cards or bad grades don’t reflect a child’s full potential, it’s easy to feel frustrated, worried, or even responsible. But there are two important things for parents to remember: Grades are your child’s responsibility, and teaching kids responsibility at home is one of the best ways to help them succeed in school.
We Can’t Learn for Our Kids
The first thing to remember is that the performance reflected in a child’s report card belongs to the child, not the parents. Even though it’s easy for parents to blame themselves when kids perform poorly, it’s very important to remember that parents can’t control every action their kids take or decision they make.
Parents can’t control every action their children take, but they can increase the odds of success by modeling responsibility, creating a calm home environment, and showing excitement for learning.
History is full of successful people who struggled in school. Albert Einstein is a classic example. At age 16, he failed the entrance examination for a technology institute in Switzerland.
What matters most is that children develop good character, curiosity, and problem-solving skills.
Chores: The Key to Improving Grades
Chores represent a key portion of the foundation required for lifelong success. Are your children completing them without reminders and without pay? If not, they’re missing out on vital opportunities to learn responsibility and to feel like loved and needed members of the family.
When they learn how to do chores without a battle, the odds go way up that they’ll also learn to complete their schoolwork without a battle. When we treat our children like guests in a five-star, all-inclusive resort, their true self-esteem plummets and they develop attitudes of entitlement.
Low self-esteem and entitlement go hand in hand; either equals low or no motivation.
Love and Logic’s ABCs for Chores
To prevent this from happening, follow Love and Logic’s ABCs for getting children to do chores:
A: Assign Every Member of Your Family Some Meaningful Contributions
Ask yourself, “What am I doing that my children could do on a regular basis?”
Many parents find it helpful to post this list on the refrigerator, complete with names next to each contribution.
Caution: Don’t be tempted to say, “Do it now.” This just creates power struggles. Instead, allow them to have a deadline for each contribution.
B: Be Quiet
Avoid reminding or nagging. Remember: Children who are nagged into doing their chores will become children who need to be nagged into doing their schoolwork and homework.
C: Consequences Preceded by Sincere Empathy Will Do the Teaching
When children refuse to do their chores, forget, or do them haphazardly, many parents find it helpful to complete the chore for their child, and then expect their child to repay the time and energy expended to accomplish those contributions.
How Responsibility at Home Improves School Performance
Summertime is an excellent time to start working with your kids on chores. By the time they return to school in the fall, they will be well on their way to taking responsibility for their schoolwork.
If you’d like more practical ways to help your child develop responsibility, motivation, and a love of learning, From Bad Grades to a Great Life offers simple, effective tools you can begin using right away.
Thanks for reading!
